A lesson in traction and example of the Audi “S” cars.

Dear Nissan Skyrine drivers,

I am referring to the rear wheel driven non AWD Godura(Godzilla)/34 aka Povvo model version here. An Audi “S” is fitted with the quattro system and some wonderful electronics from the mad scientists who ovbiously inhabit the labs at Bosch, oh and the fools at Audi take all this cool kit, grab a normal car (S3 is derived from A3, S4 from A4 and so on) and shove all this wonderful kit into it along with a rediculously specc’d engine for the car.

What this means in practical terms – well your rear wheel driven car will have some issues in the wet namely tail happiness on gear changes, also your car is not really all that more powerful than mine, and unlike you I dont have a big head that demands I must cut other people off to ensure that they stay behind me and then proceed to box someone in on slow moving traffic. This gets annoying after several repitions, and means that I will look for an opportunity to get past you when one presents itself. Another thing, the availability of my torque (the stuff that means my power that gets to the ground) is available in the big fat power band and I can pull like a steam train in third, whilst laughing my arse off at your antics whilst you need to wrestle with your gearbox trying to keep in those 50rpm or so where its actually doing something other than making excessive noise from your recycled milo tin of an exhast. Attempting to launch with rev’s in the wet for your vehicle is not something I reccomend, I am able to get my power to the ground and be happily sitting quite some distance infront of you watching each gear change as you seem incapable of putting power down smoothly. (This i am quite against as it is not safe to do on public roads – if you wish to drive like a moron – go to the race track – mallalah perhaps?)

And a last thing – roundabouts in the wet – watching you understeer in then oversteer out is just scary, as I am sure that you would be mostly happy to blame me for your personal failing as a driver and I would be labeled as the hoon, please dont try to keep up with an S series car again.

Should you see an RS branded Audi car. Crawl under your doona, suck your thumb and go to sleep for you will kill yourself should they not be as happy as my to ignore your foolish antics and decide to take you on.

M